Attachment Disorder

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Books by Arleta James, LPCC

The Science of Parenting Adopted Children: A Brain-Based, Trauma-Informed Approach to Cultivating Your Child’s Social, Emotional and Moral Development 

The Science of Parenting Adopted ChildrenToday’s adoptees — infants to adolescents — arrive in their forever family with much capacity to recover from the early trauma that most often put them on the path to adoption. This book offers parents a comprehensive approach, ready to tap into, to bring about the healing of their son or daughter, or in the case of relative placements, their nephew, cousin, or grandchild. The content is applicable to domestic and international adoptees. The focus of this book is cultivating the well-being of the child who’s joined the family via adoption.

Parents want their children to know the joy of relationships and learning. The tips in this book are designed to advance the social, emotional, moral, and cognitive skills children need to be successful at home, in school and in the community. The subject matter also includes an overlay of information coming from the field of neuroscience. Brain development is impacted by one’s early environment. Yet, the brain too, can learn new ways to function. 

Children proceed through stages of development within the context of nurturing relationships with parents. For example, learning to talk is a progression that starts with smiling, babbling, and cooing. When the course of growth is interrupted by unfortunate experiences like prenatal substance exposure, maternal depression or stress, abandonment, neglect, deprivation of an orphanage setting, sexual or physical abuse, moving from one foster home or orphanage to another — skills that should emerge are thwarted. The boy or girl with an early trauma history is kept “immature.” So, moms and dads adopting a son or daughter must also adopt a new style of parenting. The approach must guide the child through trauma recovery.

The book is laid out in chapters alternating content with corresponding parenting tips. We’ll start with a definition of complex trauma, and we’ll take a broad look at how various traumatic experiences weaken the child’s developmental foundation. We’ll move to chapters each with in-depth focus about a specific aspect of child development like creating attachments, being able to cope, having emotional well-being and learning to laugh and play. These slices of content explain how trauma has impacted the growth of skills in this area. The “tips” show the way to rebuild the skills. Combined, the strategies make a powerful tool box to developmentally renovate — to “grow up” — your adopted son or daughter.

The principal audience of this book is parents. Arleta vews parents as the primary healing resource. Moms and Dads know their son or daughter best. The content is certainly suitable for professionals who have contact with children with early trauma — mental health professionals, child welfare workers, early-intervention therapists, occupational, speech and physical therapists, pediatricians, educators, court officers and CASA volunteers. Infants, toddlers, preschoolers, tweens, and teens benefit when we use a trauma-informed lens to design their services and academic learning

Along the way Arleta has conveyed the need to seek help — quickly— even if that means making a drive or catching a flight. If a child has cancer, juvenile diabetes, or cystic fibrosis you wouldn’t “wait to see if he grows out of it.” You wouldn’t say, “love will be enough.” These conditions are treated aggressively. The most informed physicians and the most advanced treatment regimens would be sought. Arleta would like to see us react as assertively to treating trauma. Trauma, left to fester, robs children of living a life in which they can experience the simple day-to-day pleasures that come from interacting with others, and the self-worth that comes with recognizing ones’ own growth and accomplishments. Arleta has also worked to strike a balance between portraying trauma’s unsympathetic wrath with that of optimism and hope. Parsed in is the value of nurture and humor too. Adoption & Attachment Therapy Partners, LLC has many, many success stories. Several of these cases are highlighted in the vignettes throughout the book. The names have been changed to protect confidentiality. In each of these cases, the adoptee, Mom, Dad, brothers, and sisters invested time and effort. They accepted and applied the guidance offered at Adoption & Attachment Therapy Partners. Today, their families are thriving! Your family can too!


Welcoming a New Brother or Sister Through Adoption: From Navigating Relationships to Loving Families

Welcoming a New Brother or Sister through Adoption





Adoption is a big step which can change the whole dynamics of the family. It is crucial that parents understand the impact it has when new sibling relationships are forged as the adoptee becomes a part of the family. Welcoming a New Brother or Sister through Adoption is a comprehensive yet accessible guide that describes the whole range of the adoption process and the effects of adoption on every member of the family — parents, brothers, sisters and the adoptee. It prepares families to have realistic expectations and equips them with knowledge to deal with a host of situations that may arise following the adoption. Questions like,' did we make the right choice by adopting? How is this affecting our typical children? Will our adopted son or daughter heal?' are explored and solutions discussed in detail. All these accompanied with real life cases as examples make it a realistic and insightful resource. This book is vital reading for adoptive families and professionals who work with them including social workers, counselors, and psychologists.










Books by Arleta's Mentors

 

Adopting the Hurt Child: Hope for Families with Special Needs Kids Adopting the Hurt Child





The world is full of hurting kids who suffer from emotional trauma caused by institutional living or by someone they should have been able to trust. It’s a pain that lasts into adulthood if not healed and resolved. It is the new face of adoption.

In this revised and updated guide to healing the emotional trauma of the adopted child, authors Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky provide a clear picture of what it’s like to hurt and what it means to heal. Through advice, tips, and success stories of those who have been there, you’ll find valuable insight and hope.

It’s never too late for healing!

 

 

 

 

Parenting the Hurt Child: Helping Adoptive Families Heal and Grow

Parenting the Hurt Child





Sadly, the world is full of children who have been hurt by someone they should have been able to trust. If you’ve chosen to bring one of these children into your family, you likely have hopes, dreams, and images of success—dreams and images that might now look dark and hopeless.

In this updated and revised sequel to Adopting the Hurt Child, authors Gregory C. Keck and Regina M. Kupecky share valuable suggestions to help your hurt child heal, grow, and develop. You’ll learn what works and what doesn’t, as well as hear stories from those who have been there.



 

 


Parenting Adopted Adolescents: Understanding and Appreciating Their Journeys

Parenting Adopted Adolescents




Your adopted adolescent proclaims, “I can’t wait until I turn eighteen so I can leave!” And you celebrate your future liberation.

If this scenario is too familiar, you’re not alone. And you’ve chosen the right resource for parenting strategies, tips, new suggestions, and insights to manage tough situations in your family. Dr. Gregory C. Keck—adoptive parent, psychologist, and adoption expert—helps you understand and appreciate the complicated journey that adopted adolescents face.

And once you understand your role in their journey, you will be more effective in your role as a parent.

 

 

 

How Do We Feel About Adoption? The Adoption Club Therapeutic Workbook on Feelings and Behavior

How Do We Feel About Adoption?

 


The children of The Adoption Club have lots of different feelings about adoption. Michael was scared when he first met this adopted family, and was worried his adoptive family might not keep him. Other children talk about feeling happy, sad and angry, and how feeling can make them behave strangely.

This workbook gives children a way to sort out feelings, discuss them and feel better. Written for counsellors and therapists working with children aged 5-11, as well as adoptive parents, this workbook is designed to help children to explore their feelings and behavior. It is one of a set of five interactive therapeutic workbooks featuring The Adoption Club written to address the key emotional and psychological challenges adopted children often experience. Together, they provide an approachable, interactive and playful way to help children to learn about themselves and have fun at the same time.

 

 



Let's Learn About Adoption: The Adoption Club Therapeutic Workbook on Adoption and Its Many Different Forms

Learn about adoption

 

 


There are many kinds of adoption - and in this workbook the children of The Adoption Club find out about all of them!

 

 

 

 

 

 





Who We Are and Why We Are Special: The Adoption Club Therapeutic Workbook on Identity

Who We Are and Why We are Special








We each have our own unique life story which make us special. When you are adopted you have an extra layer of identity your birth family. This therapeutic workbook is designed to be used with adopted children aged 5-11, and offers a gentle way to explore this difficult subject.

 

 

 

 

 




The Confusing World of Brothers, Sisters and Adoption: The Adoption Club Therapeutic Workbook on Siblings

The Confusing World of Brothers, Sisters and Adoption

 


For children who are adopted families can get complicated, and that's very true when it comes to brothers and sisters, or 'siblings'. Today The Adoption Club are exploring the confusing world of siblings.

Some children have half-siblings, adopted siblings, step-siblings. Michael has a birth sibling, his sister Angela, who he lives with, but many other children who are adopted are separated from their brother or sisters. The Adoption Club talk about their feelings about their own siblings.

Written for counsellors and therapists working with children aged 5-11, as well as adoptive parents, this workbook is designed to help explore sibling relationships. It is one of a set of five interactive therapeutic workbooks featuring The Adoption Club written to address the key emotional and psychological challenges adopted children often experience. Together, they provide an approachable, interactive and playful way to help children to learn about themselves and have fun at the same time.

 

 


Friends, Bullies and Staying Safe: The Adoption Club Therapeutic Workbook on Friendship

Friends, Bullies and Staying Safe

 

 

 

Friendship is so complicated! The children of The Adoption Club think they are friends - they go to the same school and belong to The Adoption Club.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Foster-Adoption Story: Angela and Michael’s Journey: A Therapeutic Workbook for Traumatized Children

A Foster-Adoption Story

 

A Foster-Adoption Story tells the story of abrother and sister experiencing abuse, neglect, multiple foster care moves, sibling separation, and eventually adoption.

The goal of this workbook is to open the door to discuss difficult topics; issues like abuse, neglect, birth parents, and loyalty conflicts. It can be used as an aid in helping children heal; one that allows them to read about "kids like me".

Youngsters can color the pictures as they wish and share their feelings as they go along. This workbook will be a useful therapeutic tool to help children process their experiences and grief along the path to healing.